


Six's Company

by kingairwick



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Classic Who Secret Santa, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 11:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3066653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingairwick/pseuds/kingairwick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six and Evelyn land on a quiet, unassuming cruise ship. Chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six's Company

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hellmandraws](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=hellmandraws).



> Written for Classic Who Secret Santa.  
> Prompt: "I like mushy friendship, multi-Doctor stories, and anything plotty! "  
> 

In a brightly lit and neatly decorated lounge, a dark blue police box wheezed into existence. It was not the only one aboard the ship. There was a bit of scuffling from within, and as one of the doors opened, a deep, boisterous voice bellowed out, apparently under a considerable amount of stress.

“I’ve told you, Evelyn,” the stranger said, extending an orange and yellow-clothed arm outside the doorway. “The TARDIS scanner needs a replacement part. Until we get in, all investigating will have to be done en personne.”

An older woman, wrapped in a thick cable-knit cardigan followed the man out, giving him a massive side-eye.

“I still think you tampered with it to make it easier to walk headlong into danger.”

“Conspiracy and hearsay,” the man proclaimed, voluminously. After a moment’s thought he added, “Prove it.”

Evelyn laughed, and hooked her arm through the stranger’s elbow.

“Oh, Doctor,” she sighed. “All right, let’s get on with it then. Where are we?”

“And when?”

“That’s doesn’t matter as much. Sometime in the distant future, I suppose. I’ll be of no academic use here,” Evelyn said, as the pair surveyed the room.

“The future? What makes you say that?”

Evelyn pointed. “The control panel on the wall, for one.” The interface was minimalistic, a series of internally projected touch-less applications and almost completely blended with the squeaky-clean, shiny, plastic-looking white wall. “And for another, we’re orbiting a planet.”

She led them over to one of the many evenly-spaced medium sized portholes with a picturesque view of a cloudy, purple planet.

The Doctor’s eyes went slightly wide. “I’ve seen that planet before,” the Doctor said.

“I’m sure you have,” Evelyn comforted. “Do you remember its name?”

“No.” The Doctor frowned, digging through his complex and lengthy memories. “And I don’t think I’m supposed to.” He slapped the wall of the ship, frustrated at his lack of knowledge.

Evelyn looked at her traveling partner strangely.

“Why don’t we explore more?” she suggested. Sometimes dealing with the Doctor was more akin to advising her overworked grad students. Study breaks, distractions and cocoa for all.

The Doctor agreed willingly enough, although seemed hesitant to leave the sight of the planet. Once removed, he became his old self again and walked up to the control panel with supreme authority, quickly locating the correct button to open the door.

How may I be of assistance?, the wall asked, triggered by the Doctor attempting to walk through a motion detector. It has a clear, soft, feminine voice. Apparently the default.

“Ah!” the Doctor enthused. “Yes, well, we’d like passage out, if you please.”

What is your destination?

“Anywhere, I suppose.”

We have the following facilities, for your convenience: dining room, mess hall, cafe, swimming pool and exercise area, arcade, pool hall, movie theater, TV lounge, holode-

“Yes, alright, alright,” the Doctor said, giving an Evelyn an exasperated look. She suppressed a giggle. “The decadence of some people. Do you have a common area?”

We have common rooms on Deck A: Section 3, Deck A: Section 7, Deck B: Section 2, Deck B: Section 9, Deck C: Sec-

“Enough already!” Evelyn actually chuckled this time. “Our destination is the nearest common room,” he instructed.

A baby blue line slowly appeared on the wall next to the Doctor, quietly glowing in a warm, inviting way. At the same time, a panel slid open to lead out.

You have chosen directions to Deck E: Section 6. Please follow the complimentary SoftStay line to your destination, the wall said. Enjoy your stay.

 

A bit of a ways down the corridor, all in the same shiny plastic white design, Evelyn finally spoke.

“It’s a cruise ship!” she exclaimed.

“Yes, Evelyn, I know.”

“See all of time and space, relive history with the greats, you said. Instead we’ll be taking photos with Mickey Mouse!”

“Oh, we’re well past the time of the Disney monopoly,” the Doctor reassured her.

At the mention of the name, a screen appeared above the blue line, playing an old black-and-white cartoon. It seemed able to keep pace with the guests.

“Oh, shut up!” the Doctor sniped at the wall. It blanked.

The two rounded the corner and suddenly found themselves in the common room. It was a large, wide room, with high ceilings and an entire wall full of viewing windows. On the opposite side was a bar, made of the same white plastic. All light in the room seemed to come from the ceiling reflecting on the walls and floor, although antique lamps and potted plants were placed strategically around for decoration. The floor was littered with overstuffed couches and armchairs. Evelyn looked around in absolute horror.

“Oh, Doctor!” she turned and saw that he was uncomfortable and pale. She almost cried, “it’s a senior cruise ship! I know I’m not one of those pretty young things you used to travel around with, but this is a step too far.”

Everyone milling around the room was at least 85, with white and peppered hair. Life expectancy had lengthened considerably, so many of the youngest in the early 90s had just retired. There were some youthful and distinguished faces, shaped by creams and plastic surgery and denial, but the majority of the clientele were aided by walkers, canes and hover-scooters. Most looked unhappy at their current prospects.

“You know I work at a university, don’t you?” she continued. “There’s a reason for that, you know, and it’s not because I enjoy the Ramen cuisine.”

“It’s not that bad,” the Doctor attempted. “There are some grandsons and granddaughters about. Look, there!” The Doctor pointed through the crowd, “That young woman looks college-age.”

From the back, the girl in question had short cropped brown hair, and was wearing a summer top with high-waisted brightly colored shorts. She, indeed, looked to be significantly younger than everyone about her. Evelyn felt a short wave of relief that quickly vanished when she turned to look at the Doctor again. He was a strange, pained expression on his face.

“No, no, no,” he muttered to himself. “It couldn’t be.”

Before Evelyn could ask what was wrong, the Doctor had begun making his way through the crowd. He didn’t get very far.

“Oh, good, you’re back!” A man blocked the Doctor’s path. He wore a baseball cap and was missing most of his teeth. There was something mildly sweet about him. “Now you can help me with that food dispenser, I still haven’t told you about the Anonymous Trials of ‘74.”

“…2574?” the Doctor guessed.

“Of course not! I’m not that old, Doctor. 3374. I remember clearly now, I was right there in the center of the jury…” he trailed off, wistfully. Despite his nostalgia, he had a fairly strong grip on the Doctor’s arm at this point, and was dragging him off into another room. The Doctor couldn’t really do anything but helpless stare as he watched the man completely derail his plan.

Evelyn watched on, completely bewildered. What about the girl had caused him to panic so badly? She supposed she’d have to find out for herself.

The girl had a cocktail in her hand, very clearly not her first, as she was dealing with a much older man who possessed a much younger sensibility.

“Please leave me alone,” she said, in a brash American accent, “before I waste this perfectly decent Screwdriver by pouring it on you.”

The man grumped, but ultimately gave up when he saw Evelyn narrowing her eyes at him. He turned his back and hastily turned over to a new victim.

“Man, I’ve battled interdimensional beings hellbent on galaxy domination, but that man is a monster. Sorry,” she said, off of Evelyn’s look, “sometimes I forget I’m not always talking to my companion. Don’t worry about the interdimensional stuff, it’s all an illusion.” She waved off her crazy prattling.

“No, it’s just…” Evelyn paused. Seriously?

“Hi,” the girl said, offering the hand that didn’t have alcohol, “I’m Peri Brown. Not from around here.”

“Neither am I, to be honest,” Evelyn said, shaking.

“Oh, what a relief! I’m so sick of the planet locals just up here for some family vacation or holiday. Where are you from?”

“Ummm…Earth?”

Peri paused for a moment. “How’d you find yourself out here? Wasn’t Earth destroyed centuries ago or something?”

“Yes, I suppose. Tell me more about that companion of yours, would you?”

 

Several hours and many drinks later, Peri and Evelyn were giggling next to the live grand piano.

“And then he starts going on about Nietzsche and abysses, and I’m like, can I take the Polaroid now? I’m only in 5th century China once.”

Another wave of laughter broke out between them.

“Actually, it might have been twice.”

“What does it matter?” Evelyn contested. “You had an even chance of dying both times.”

Peri smiled. She knew that her time with the Doctor was certainly destined to end now, paradoxes and all that, but she was glad that he’d continue with someone so sweet and insightful. Maybe it was all her wonderful influence on his temperament.

“Speaking of,” Evelyn looked around, “where has my Doctor gotten off too?”

Peri shrugged. “Mine ran off hours ago, saying something about a temporal nexus or a trap or something. I should probably go find him.”

Evelyn nodded and headed off out into a corridor. Peri followed. Evelyn figured it shouldn’t be too hard to find someone so…meticulously dressed, but then she remembered the massive span of the ship.

“Why don’t we ask the computer?”

“I don’t know,” Peri said, with a skeptical twist of the mouth. “I don’t think it likes me very much. I swear it almost directed me out to an open air lock.”

“Nonsense, it’s a perfectly reasonable machine.” Evelyn kind of hoped that the ship would respond to compliments in a similar way to the TARDIS. She turned toward one of the walls. “Could you direct me toward my partner?”

Of course, the wall responded instantly. But he is on the other side of the ship, would you like some entertainment to accompany you?

“Yeah, sure. Now I can finally catch up on MTV hundreds of years after it went off-air!”

Evelyn huffed a bit at the overabundance of sarcasm, but was more surprised when a screen box popped up. The show declared itself as “The Real World.”

“I told you,” Peri almost whined. “It doesn’t like me.”

“I don’t see any problems here you didn’t create yourself.”

Evelyn set down along the proffered path, a little excited to figure out what exactly what was happening.

It didn’t take five minutes before the both of them bumped into the Doctor.

“What? Doctor, I thought you were on the other side of the ship.”

“Well, maybe I am,” he said, with a grim smile.

“I see.” Peri said. “You’re the walrus, huh?”

“Why do people keep bringing that up? Although, I must admit that it’s a pleasure to see you both again.”

“Again? Oh no.”

“There’s another one.”

“I’m afraid so.” The Doctor’s features darkened as he soaked up the dramatics of the moment. “This is my third time being drawn to this ship, someone is messing about with my timeline and it could spell our doom.”

“It’s not that hard,” observed Evelyn. “Look, see, even I can do it. D-O-O-”

Peri laughed out loud, despite herself. The Doctor wasn’t taking the joke as lightly.

“Will you take this seriously? My lives are on the line.”

“So you ran into your past self, Doctor. It’s happened before, I don’t remember it being a big deal,” Peri surmised.

Evelyn agreed. “Right. You’re a time traveler, it must happen all the…time.”

“Trust me, it doesn’t.” He looked at both of them critically. Then something else occurred to him. “Well, okay, sometimes it does. A few times actually. You know, even as recently as a few dozen years ago I found myself talking face-to-face with the beige fellow.”

Peri sighed wistfully.

“Doctor, you’re proving my point,” Evelyn said.

The Doctor turned his attentions back and gave her a sly smile. “My apologies. I had no intention of doing so.”

Evelyn returned the smile. She wasn’t quite sure of when this Doctor was, but he was still the Doctor.

“Oh, I did miss you, Evelyn. And you too, Peri,” he said, off Peri’s exasperated sigh. “But this really is serious. Three of me shouldn’t exist in the same place and time, especially this close together.”

“But we just said-”

“No, Peri, three of me,” he said, gesturing to himself. “Three of me since I’ve regenerated. It shouldn’t happen, of all the unnatural things that happen to me a daily basis, it’s one of the most absolute unnatural. Someone must be expending a great deal of power to keep all three of us here, to house three TARDISes in the same nexus point, and someone willing to expend all that energy is probably willing to do much worse in order to get what they want from me. Or ‘mes’, I should maybe say.”

“I don’t really listen to him when he goes on like this,” Peri whispered to Evelyn.

“Don’t fret, you probably get the idea anyway.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Fine, but you two should stick with me. It doesn’t make sense for us all to be running around confusing each other.”

“Have you considered name tags?” Peri suggested, as they followed the Doctor down the corridor.

“Although they’d all say ‘Doctor’, wouldn’t they?”

“Maybe we should refer to them by who they travel with. Peri’s Doctor, Evelyn’s Doctor…”

“Mel’s Doctor,” the man interjected. “I never knew I was sharing my adventures with Laurel and Hardy.”

“Oh come on, we’re nothing like Laurel and Hardy.” Evelyn said with a frown. “More like Abbot and Costello, I’d say.”

There was a short tense silence as the trio walked past day spas and billiard rooms and laundry services.

Then, Peri absolutely had to ask, “Who’s Mel?”

 

Every passenger on the ship had a different biodata stamp, and each stamp was assigned a guide color.

Evelyn’s purple guide trailed off ahead of her, ending in a completely isolated blank room. There was no way to reprogram the directions, they’d attempted for at least half an hour.

“No,” Evelyn said, eyeing the door to the room warily.

“It might be the only way,” the Doctor coerced. “There’s absolutely nothing saying that you passing through might not unlock it for the rest of us.”

The interface only responded to Evelyn’s hand, Peri and the Doctor weren’t even allowed to walk through the door. Whatever was happening with temporal disturbances or spatial renegotiations, it was clearly affecting the hardware of the spacecraft.

“We’ll be able to see you through the glass.”

“Unless a lens flare blocks her out.” The Doctor glared at Peri. She shrugged.

“Go on, Evelyn. Everything will be alright.”

That almost made her cough up a lung from laughter, but instead she composed herself and inched toward the door. The purple line glowed invitingly, but for some reason it seemed marginally more menacing than before.

The Doctor wouldn’t stop giving her encouraging and ‘brave heart’ looks, so finally she just caved and walked into the trap.

And it was immediately clear and obvious it was a trap.

The door closed behind her and disappeared into the wall. She was left with a blank wall and three thick glass windows, nothing that would be a problem if she happened to be a giant bull. She stared exasperatedly at the Doctor, who was looking concerned outside. As if this were a huge surprise to him. Maybe it was. He was often a complete idiot.

Welcome to the relaxation chamber, the wall said, Your heart rate indicates increased strain and stress, above levels recommended for your age and conditions. Studies suggest that some good old R&R should set you right in a couple of hours.

Soft music starting venting through the pipes and a soft bed protruded from the wall.

“It’s trying to help you,” the Doctor mouthed.

Evelyn demonstrated to him precisely how much help she needed.

“Let me out,” she told the wall.

That is not advised.

“I don’t care if it’s advised, I’d like to be released so I can overload your circuits and sell you to a thrift store.”

That is not advised.

Absolutely great.

The Doctor motioned that he and Peri would be back for her later, and moved on. Evelyn grouched around for a bit and then sat down on the bed.

“Oh, don’t you have anything better than Perry Como?”

Bach started playing.

 

“Aren’t you worried?”

“Not in the slightest, Peri. This ship is designed to help people, or at the very least keep them entertained for a while. Evelyn is perfectly safe.”

“If you say so.”

“I do!” the Doctor replied, with a grin. “Now, on to the next business. Evelyn wanted to meet up with her..me, but I don’t think that’s a very good idea for us, comic cataclysm and all that. We need a destination to get anywhere though. How about the control room?”

Guest access to control room is prohibited.

They stood stumped for a second.

“How about the hallway outside the control room?” Peri suggested.

An soft orange line appeared.

“Orange?!” Peri snickered in disgust. The Doctor laughed.

They followed the line down multiple empty hallways, clearly the ship preferred to keep them away from company. The pair ended up outside a metallic double-door, about nine feet high, looking like a remnant from the iron age amid all the flash-bangery of the shiny surfaces. Peri tried to open the door.

Guest access to control room is prohibited.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to stay outside, Peri.”

“What, why?” She furrowed her brow.

The Doctor walked back a bit and paused, preparing for something. He explained, “The computer recognizes you, and guests aren’t allowed to enter.”

“So what about you?”

“I’m getting to that.” The Doctor closed his eyes very tightly, and started to hum a little bit. There was a brief period of meditation where everything went quiet. Then his eyes popped open again.

“Well, my DNA’s all changed, see you in a bit.” Without further word he walked briskly through the door.

 

On the other side, in a large circular room, three outrageously dressed men entered simultaneously and looked about.

“Nope,” they all said, and immediately turned around to find an exit. Except the doors would no longer open.

A fourth of the room was devoted to a large, complicated-looking control panel with lots of beeping lights and a computer screen that ran through all the CCTV areas on the ship.

“Well, who could have guessed this?!” one of them said.

“Honestly, you’d think one of us would know better by now,” said another.

“Anyone for tennis?” said the third.

Welcome, Doctor.

“Welcome yourself,” Peri’s Doctor said, still fidgeting with the door handle. “I demand to know why we’re being kidnapped. And why you’re risking the stability of the universe to do it.”

It’s very simple, Doctor. I just want to know why. And how. That’s all.

“Why what?”

You keep changing.

A long paused ensued, while the three silently fought over who would get to explain this time. Finally, Evelyn’s Doctor sighed and began.

“Yes, I supposed we do. It’s a thing called regeneration, our entire personality and body changes. It’s a trait specific to Time Lords, although why you felt you had to drag us all here when you could probably look it up on Wikipedia-”

No, Doctor. You keep changing. The three of you are so different.

“Are we?”

“It would make a bit of sense, I suppose. Time, experience, growth. It’s not like each individual life isn’t a life.”

“I would say it might be the company we keep. Travel with different people, they have different effects on us. Peri and Evelyn are very different women, to say nothing of Mel.”

Another heavy, lengthy pause settled on the room. Then, “Wait. Who’s Mel?”

“I’m Mel!” said a cheery voice from inside the room. The voice seemed to be incorporeal, except then the sound of scuffling came from inside one of the heat vents. Mel’s Doctor went over to open the grate and help the girl out. She was a bit sweaty, but for all intents and purposes looked like she was having the time of her life.

“I was able to reroute most of the heat through other vents for my short trip, but it was still a bit cozy in there,” she said cheerfully. “But mission accomplished, Doctor, the mainframe is all mine.”

She pulled out a tiny remote control with a red button and couple of switches.

“That might not be necessary this time, Mel. But thank you.”

“You mean I did all that work rewiring this evil computer for nothing?”

“Not quite evil, is she?” Evelyn’s Doctor said. “Just curious. Curiosity never harmed anyone.”

“Except when it destroys the universe,” Peri’s Doctor grumbled.

“Oh, well, we can probably take care of that,” Mel’s Doctor said, smiling down at his companion. “It’s not hard to code some sense into her, is it? I think it’s about time we should go.”

But you haven’t answered my question. I want to change, I want to grow.

“You already have! You will! Just by being here, it’s happening.

That is not satisfactory.

The Doctor shrugged. “That’s life. Mel, why don’t you open the door?”

 

“Well, it’s a bit of deus ex machina, don’t you think?” Evelyn said, looking out of the porthole.

The Doctor searched in his pockets for the TARDIS key. Somehow that thing always reappeared somewhere new. Maybe he should start wearing it as a necklace too.

“Not totally, I’d say. I, well, the future me, caught on much more quickly than I did. He remembered what happened here because it had already happened twice before. So he set Mel, clever girl that one I think, to reprogram the bits that were problematic.”

“Isn’t that a paradox? How’d you three get out the first time?”

“Yes, but a contained one. This cruise ship got so infested with time paradoxes just by having the three of us here at once that we’ll most likely forget we were ever here until we come back.”

“You mean I won’t remember?” Evelyn asked, shocked.

“Bits and pieces, when you need to,” the Doctor assured her, “the brain’s memory is more complicated than that. But to prevent paradox it’ll all be subconscious. Ah! Here it is!”

Evelyn walked over to the blue doors and the Doctor opened them.

“After you, my dear.”

“I have to say, you don’t really know how to take a vacation.”

“Then how about a bit of of fun? Maybe the American Civil War?”

“So you do know how to pilot this thing!”

The Doctor rolled his eyes as he followed her inside.

“I promise nothing.”

The wheezing sound came back as the blue box faded from sight, leaving a quiet, ordinary cruise ship in its wake.

 

 


End file.
